Hello, and welcome from Vancouver, Canada.
This is the sixth edition of The Voice In Your Head Is Mine. The date is June 15th, 2020. If you're receiving this email and have no idea what's going on, well, fuck. I guess I blew it. Or maybe you blew it. Either way, you're here and this is Zac Thompson's weekly newsletter.
It’s the early afternoon on Sunday. It’s hard to know where to start. It feels like we’re part of this historic moment of radical social change but at the same time we’re going through a worldwide pandemic. Most people seem to be over the pandemic and it’s effectively gas-lighting me into thinking/stressing that I need to “get back to normal”. But that’s bullshit. There is no normal anymore. That’s both comforting and scary. I don’t want to think about it but denying it doesn’t make it go away.
I hope you’re being mindful of others. Wear a mask. Protest if you feel it’s safe to do so. Just make sure you’re taking care of your mental health in the process. There is too much going on right now for us to process and handle all of it. Give yourself space to make sense of all this.
When Something’s Wrong
The last few weeks I’ve been outlining a new creator-owned series, PROJECT MYCENA. For the most part, things have been going very well. The idea was something that I originally came up with back in 2016. But since that time, I’ve evolved as a storyteller and the world has changed drastically.
So the story had to change. I gutted everything that was there originally to build something new upon the solid foundation. The process of rewriting the idea has been seamless for the most part. Most of the rebuilding process is a lot of critical thinking about what I want the story to say now that it’s being told in 2020.
When starting a new story I often ask myself two questions.
What do you want to say about the world? Which seems broad. But it doesn’t have to be. This project in particular is how we lionize problematic personalities for personal gain/entertainment. A lot about that dynamic has changed in the last four years. 2016 is a very different place from 2020.
What am I trying to say about myself? I put far too much of myself into my work. It’s not a 1:1 thing. But rather, raw emotional energy that is reflected through the prism of my characters. It gives everything a real emotional weight that I can’t find any other way to synthesize. I have to put myself on the page in order to make it work. Most times that means I’m utterly terrified for others to read the book. Because somewhere hidden in the pages – I’m standing there completely naked.
So, as you can imagine, it’s quite perplexing when you have a pit in your stomach about something feeling off or broken within your story. The major beats work and the plot feels like it’s moving along just fine. And yet something is missing.
For Project Mycena. This was two fold. I wasn’t being honest with myself about how I felt about my themes. I wasn’t taking my character on a logical journey based on who I set up within the opening pages. Instead I moved toward this strange impulse that my main character, ANNE, had to resist what was going on around her. When in reality, she wanted to lean in. She wanted this. And everything in my gut was telling me that. But I resisted. Thinking I knew better.
Well, I didn’t. After a week of moving in one direction with her journey. I realized what my gut was trying to say. I went back and restructured my entire outline around her (my) emotional truth. And everything clicked into place. The point is, no matter what, listen to your gut. It’s trying to tell you something. It might not be the best time to listen and you might want to keep barrelling forward. But your nagging impulse that something is wrong is almost always right.
Here’s Anne, by the way. Brought to life by the incredible Andy MacDonald.
Control
I’ve been playing Control for PS4. The game revolves around a clandestine U.S. government agency known as the Federal Bureau of Control, which is responsible for the investigation of "paranatural" phenomena which defy the known laws of reality. You play as the new Director of the Bureau, Jesse Faden as she becomes immersed in a Kafka-esque conspiracy that involves her brother and extra-dimensional beings known as The Hiss. The game is made by Remedy Entertainment. The fine folks who made Alan Wake and the original Max Payne games. And just like those titles, it’s damn good.
Now, I’ve got some misgivings about the acting and story in places. But visually the game is stunning. There’s a meticulous attention to detail as you traverse the strange labyrinthian FBC building. But there’s also these wonderful double and triple exposures used throughout. As well as reflected/distorted wisps of color that burst out of enemies as they die.
It also has some of the best psychic combat mechanics of anything I’ve played in recent memory. You can pick up almost anything in the environment and throw it at people. There’s a really strange and playful sense to the world. I mean, hell, one mission had me talking to potted plants.
There’s something really charming about Control that I can’t resist. It’s got a little bit of Cronenberg, a little Kafka, and even some Vandermeer eco-horror stuff in places. The world is littered with all kinds of worldbuilding supplemental documents too. So you can easily get immersed in the giant world they’ve built for the game. If you’re looking for something fun and easy to play with incredible visuals, you can’t do much better than Control.
I Am Thinner, More Full Of Holes
This week’s playlist. Right here. Right now.
Tiny Scabs
I watched The King of Staten Island this weekend. It was terrible. I don’t get how anyone could enjoy this movie. Let’s send Judd Apatow back where he came from. Comedies about horribly average white dudes need to stop.
Costume designer Denise Cronenberg passed away this week. Here’s a wonderful retrospective of her sublime work at The Globe and Mail.
This past week I finished reading Stephen Graham Jones’ wonderful werewolf novel, Mongrels. If you’re looking for a fantastic coming of age story that doubles as a strange werewolf yarn - you can’t do much better. Contact your local indie bookstore for a copy.
Goodbye
Goodbye from six feet away. When this is all over remember to hug your friends. Take time to process how you feel about everything going on in the world. Pick your battles. You’re not meant to champion everything at every minute. Things may feel bleak right now but the sun will rise once again.
Until next week.
Z